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By Rebecca Teti

Tuesday: Open Forum

(Join each day’s Coffee Talk discussion: Mon: Parenting; Tues: Open Forum; Wed: NFP; Thu: Marriage; Fri: Education; Sat/Sun: Changing Roles)

This is the Open Forum Coffee Talk. That means ... anything goes. Ask a question, make a suggestion, share a story, offer some advice -- the floor is yours!

Rebecca Teti


  • I went to my first TLM last Friday. When I shared the news with our Parish Priest he made it know very plainly that he was not a fan, and sort of made fun of me for going. I feel very naive for thinking a Preist would care about my experence. I thought as a shepherd..he would care about his flock. I forget they are human and have their own issues. This convert is praying for him.

    Posted on Jul 16th, 2013 at 7:10 AM by unknown

  • unknown, I am sorry for your disheartening experience. Though they are consecrated & set apart by God for His service...like you said...priests are human & have the same weaknesses that we all struggle with. Additionally, the devil likes nothing more than to sow division between a priest & his flock. Your response of prayer is beautiful & charitable. If you find the TLM edifying for your spiritual life, by all means, continue to go if you can! May God bless you on your journey of faith!

    Posted on Jul 16th, 2013 at 9:19 AM by Patricia

  • I wish the music ministry would get more modern with the music and song arrangements. Electric guitars, bass, drums keyboard. If you want more youth attendance bring in the music of today.

    Posted on Jul 16th, 2013 at 10:29 AM by Al

  • Maybe I should wait for NFP day, but in case I don't get back here tomorrow - how much effect can I expect the weather to have on my temperatures? I've been attributing a string of unusually high temperatures to the fact that it's been in in the 90s for the past 2 weeks (and we don't have air conditioning). Is that valid? My temps have dropped the past 2 days, despite the temperature outside remaining high, so I'm wondering if maybe I was wrong about that? Or could my body just be adjusting to the summer heat?

    Posted on Jul 16th, 2013 at 10:52 AM by Kathleen

  • Kathleen, I think your temp usually drops right before ovulation.

    Posted on Jul 16th, 2013 at 11:22 AM by Jay

  • Al, I think it depends on whether you are referring to music during the Liturgy itself, or what we think of as praise & worship music outside of the Liturgy. The Church (her teachings, Liturgy, Sacraments, prayers, etc.) is timeless (existing outside of linear/temporal time as we know it) & needs no modernization. In our culture of rapid modernization (where what is "in" today is "out " tomorrow) & over-stimulation, I think it is important to teach our young people that they can (& should) also experience the presence of God in quiet contemplation (which doesn't always equate total silence). The aim of any type of spiritual music should be to give glory to God, not necessarily to appeal to our sense & exhibit human talent -- as well as to raise our minds & hearts to Him. That being said, I realize that a diversity of musical styles can do that for different people. God bless--

    Posted on Jul 16th, 2013 at 2:45 PM by Patricia

  • Kathleen, I copied your question over to the NFP forum.

    Posted on Jul 17th, 2013 at 7:18 AM by Rebecca Teti

  • TLM? Never heard of it.

    Posted on Jul 17th, 2013 at 7:56 AM by Carolyn A

  • Carolyn A., TLM stands for Traditional Latin Mass. Or, more properly, it is referred to as the Extraordinary Form of the Roman Rite according to the 1962 Missal. It is the classical Roman Catholic Liturgy in its traditional form according to the liturgical books promulgated in 1962 by Blessed Pope John XXIII. If you are interested in reading more about it, the websites of both Sancta Missa & the Institute of Christ the King Sovereign Priest give a good intro to the TLM. While we usually attend the Divine Liturgy of St. John Chrysostom, we do on occasion attend the TLM in nearby Pittsburgh. Occasionally, a Benedictine priest/monk from St. Vincent's Archabbey will come & celebrate the TLM in our town. It is a beautiful & ancient liturgy of the Church.

    Posted on Jul 17th, 2013 at 8:41 AM by Patricia

  • I am not sure the Communion of Saints whose lives revolved around & whose lives were given for the ancient Mass would agree with your take on the Mass being backwards...just a thought... :)

    Posted on Jul 17th, 2013 at 11:43 AM by Patricia

  • Patricia, your posts always make me smile. Especially your oh so patient responses to Jeanne. I'm probably older than you but I want to be just like you when I grow up! :)

    Posted on Jul 17th, 2013 at 12:01 PM by KMB

  • I am sorry to say that I think my time on this forum sis at an end. It seems that now I am being edited in addition to Jeanne, even though I was only warning all of you about what she is truly capable of. I loved this forum back in the F&F days, I am sad to see that one person had the power to shut it down. Prayers for all of you, and maybe one day we can find another online community to share with each other again.

    Posted on Jul 17th, 2013 at 3:48 PM by Danielle M.

  • Danielle M., I don't think the editing was personal. My "the sock puppet isn't me" comment was deleted too, but I think they delete those just b/c responses to Jeanne don't make any sense once they delete her comments. But I agree about the extreme trolling making it hardly worth the trouble here. Any time it looks like there's an actual conversation happening, it turns out to be a dozen completely unhinged copy/paste comments from the same person. And it's definitely worse than it used to be at F&F.

    Posted on Jul 17th, 2013 at 5:34 PM by Anna

  • Danielle M.: I agree with what (the real) Anna said in regards to the comment being deleted. I do appreciate you sharing your legitimate concerns & I do hope that you will stay! The odd attempt at a take-over here on the F&F message board is pathetic & sad. KMB: Thanks very much for your kind words! PRAYER REQUEST for a friend of my brother…Thomas Peters (he blogs at American Papist & Catholic Vote & is the son of Canonist Dr. Edward Peters) was seriously hurt in a swimming accident yesterday evening. He fractured his 5th cervical vertebrae & is being treated at the U of MD Medical Center in Baltimore. Please pray for Thomas & for his family, thank you!

    Posted on Jul 17th, 2013 at 5:56 PM by Patricia

  • Patricia, I saw that news. Will definitely be praying for Thomas.

    Posted on Jul 17th, 2013 at 7:10 PM by Amy

  • Readers -- especially all you wonderful and super-patient "regulars": I just spent more time than I have to delete 30 deeply weird comments from frequent visitor "Jeanne." I deeply apologize that we've not yet found a way to block this person who is determined to shut down this site and all of our conversations and who generally makes a nice place to chat so deeply unpleasant. I don't myself know what the hold-up is on our site re-vamp and improved blocking ability, so I feel very helpless and frustrated because this is not the experience I want to be hosting for my "guests," and it's outrageous to me that an unhinged person can shut down a business site. Until the solution (possibly even a legal solution, as my folder of screen grabs is burgeoning) is found, Anna & Patricia are quite right -- when I delete the jibberish or hostile comments, I also delete any comment engaging with them, because they no longer make any sense and confuse readers. To reiterate: our policy is to delete out-of-tone comments because we're trying to have a "Coffee Talk" kind of chat here. And I'd further ask our regulars not to engage with Jeanne. Tonight's display -- 30 comments, some in Latin & Greek, some copying and mocking the commenters here, and just plain jibberish taking up the whole page-- should confirm for us all that we are not dealing with a fully well or stable person. She deserves our compassion and prayer and love -- but many years of experience have proven that it is fruitless to engage, and I will wind up deleting the whole conversation anyway. I am sorry it is that way; I deeply wish it weren't! My deepest apologies.

    Posted on Jul 17th, 2013 at 7:12 PM by Rebecca Teti

  • Patricia, thanks for posting that here. Prayers for Thomas Peters and his wife and extended family!

    Posted on Jul 17th, 2013 at 7:23 PM by Rebecca Teti

  • Thanks, Rebecca...& I am sorry that you have to deal with this mess time & again. I find myself thinking, "Perhaps if I reach out just one more time..." when Jeanne posts...but it seems futile. I feel sad for her, something is going on there. Like you said...compassion & prayer & love are the answer...as well as hanging in there & trying to engage in actual posts & online conversations (it can be hard, though, when one suspects the individual posting is using a false name & trying to bait people). That being said, I do appreciate your effort here & enjoy reading the thoughts, comments, questions & answers of other readers. God bless!

    Posted on Jul 17th, 2013 at 9:28 PM by Patricia

  • Rebecca, I'm sorry you have to keep dealing with this. Thanks for continuing to try to make this a positive community! Patricia, you have been so kind and patient; just so you know, Jeanne does copy all comments to her own blog, so just be aware that anything you post, she keeps (which always weirds me out a bit since in the past I have had occasion to include identifiers like my city).

    Posted on Jul 18th, 2013 at 1:14 AM by Anna

  • Heh. And how many times could I use a form of "deep" in my comment last night. I was tired!

    Posted on Jul 18th, 2013 at 6:39 AM by Rebecca Teti

  • I just did a check-in and I'm glad to see some of the great commenters still here! Let's get those blocks going, right Rebecca? Thank you for your extra vigilance and let me know how I can help, besides prayers! I agree that ignoring works better than engaging. It's an unfortunate situation.

    Posted on Jul 18th, 2013 at 9:22 AM by Donna L.

  • Although I don't post much at all, I do enjoy reading the conversations. Thanks Rebecca for keeping the comment board going!

    Posted on Jul 18th, 2013 at 10:26 AM by LauraLaz

  • I am away on vacation this week with very limited internet access, so it looks like I missed a lot of weirdness. I will really miss you Danielle M, and I hope you reconsider and decide to stay (although I certainly can't blame you for being discouraged by all the craziness).

    Posted on Jul 18th, 2013 at 1:27 PM by ClaireS

  • Hi Claire! Hope you have had a great vacation! Yes, you did, but you didn't miss much actually! Just silly repetitive jibberish---such as the lead character {Jack Nicholson} typed in The Shining....<snort> A few other amazing posters have decided to stay, and I am glad we are all *here*!

    Posted on Jul 18th, 2013 at 2:06 PM by Donna L.

  • I didn't know Thomas Peters was married. Praying for his recovery.

    Posted on Jul 18th, 2013 at 7:27 PM by Monica (momof2)

  • Have a great vacation, Claire!

    Posted on Jul 18th, 2013 at 7:28 PM by Monica (momof2)

  • Monica (momof2), Thomas Peters is a friend of my younger brother -- he & his wife Natalie were married in April of this year.

    Posted on Jul 18th, 2013 at 9:31 PM by Patricia

  • Thanks Donna and Monica! The beach was beautiful, but the house we stayed in was un-air conditioned, which was tough because it was very hot and humid (not my favorite weather). I miss the ocean, but it's good to be home!

    Posted on Jul 20th, 2013 at 6:43 PM by ClaireS