Being Good Moms & Dads

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By Rebecca Teti

Monday: Parenting

(Join each day’s Coffee Talk discussion: Mon: Parenting; Tues: Open Forum; Wed: NFP; Thu: Marriage; Fri: Education; Sat/Sun: Changing Roles)

Terrible toddlers? Trying teens? Something in between? This weekly forum is the spot to share your questions and struggles about all things related to parenthood.

Please join us!

Rebecca Teti


  • I just weaned my 15-month-old. He'd "only" been nursing a minute on each side, but he was doing it 8 - 10 times per night. I was exhasuted!! So I said "no more nursing at night"... which meant I just cut 8 - 10 feedings all at one time! My son is doing just fine & "sleeping like a baby"... but I am SO ENGORGED! It's just awful. To crown all, my son now stares at his "nursies" like they are monsters (and they are now: so lumpy and swollen!) and will not nurse at ALL (even during the day)!! I did not mean to wean him completely, just at night. But the point is that suddenly we went from about 14 feedings per day... to ZERO! Does anyone have advice for handling the engorgement???????? I feel like I'm dying.

    Posted on Jan 28th, 2013 at 8:10 AM by Jen

  • If you're still wanting him to drink your milk, could you pump one or two times a night until the discomfort goes away and give him the milk via sippy cup or bottle? I would also keep trying to nurse him during the day.

    Posted on Jan 28th, 2013 at 9:35 AM by Allison

  • Watch out for mastitis, you may need antibiotics if you have any fever or redness. Do you have a pump that you could try to use a few times a day? If not, buy cabbage and put the leaves on inside your bra for a while. You can google that for more instructions.

    Posted on Jan 28th, 2013 at 9:40 AM by MMH

  • Hoping someone might be able to help me think through this, more of education question, but has to do with parenting in that regard. How are some catholic schools able to offer child discounts, while some can't? What makes it possible for those schools that can offer them? Just trying to understand a bit more how much of a sacrifice it is for the school to do so before I might bring it up at our school. Sure I wouldn't be the first to ask. I just want to be fair minded with our current school which is fairly affluent, while the school a few miles down the road seems less so, but offers a significant child discount that would help us afford catholic school for all of our kids. I know the catholic schools run on relatively low tuition already, so again, want to stay fair minded when I consider it. Thanks for any insight and God bless!

    Posted on Jan 28th, 2013 at 10:11 AM by Josie

  • Josie - my guess is that it has to do with the number of families at the school that are parishioners. For example, my parish subsidizes about 1/3 of the "official" cost of educating each child for active parishioners. Non-parishioners pay the full amount. Could the school that offers greater multi-child discounts have a larger number of full-tuition paying parents? Another factor could be the salaries of the teachers. Young teachers will likely make less than older teachers, so if one school has a lot of young teachers, that's could account for greater financial flexibility.

    Posted on Jan 28th, 2013 at 11:28 AM by MR

  • Josie, There is a school down the street that provides multiple child discounts and many scholarships. I think there are a number of factors that parishes consider. Our parish does not provide multiple child discounts because they do not have enough money coming in from tithing. Our pastor has outlined how much each family would need to contribute for discounts be an option but it doesn't seem to have an impact on what our parishoners tith. There is another school down the street. It is a diocese supported school, like ours, but it is run by the Franciscans. I'm thinking, though I don't know for sure, that the Franciscans are providing funds beyond what the dioceses provides and that is why they can off the discount and scholarships. Hope this was useful.

    Posted on Jan 28th, 2013 at 11:30 AM by Jenny

  • Ugh. I'm sorry my internet connection is the pits today and keeps rearrange my sentences. The first sentence refers to the school run by the Fransicans.

    Posted on Jan 28th, 2013 at 11:32 AM by Jenny

  • Josie, I think it becomes a decision on the part of the pastor/school board/principal as to what they can handle. Our pastor is very insistent that he wants to welcome families with multiple children, so he insists a discount be provided. In order to do that, the parish subsidizes the school, and parents are asked to participate in many ways to both keep costs down, and provide fundraising for costs for many "extras". My guess it that in a parish that has no discounts, either the parish financially has no way to subsidize the cost of education/per child, or else those in charge do not see it as a priority. I don't mean that to sound like an accusation--just a fact. Some truly don't see it as important to keep costs down for multiple children in a family. My suggestion to you would be to attend school board meetings--if possible, or even ask to meet with the pastor in question. Ours is very open about the costs of running the school and cost per child.

    Posted on Jan 28th, 2013 at 11:43 AM by Mary Therese

  • I meant to do this yesterday, but thank you for all the insightful responses to my question! I miss this group of women I need to remember to pop on more often! God bless, Josie

    Posted on Jan 29th, 2013 at 8:25 AM by Josie