Natural Family Planning

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By Rebecca Teti

Wednesdays: Natural Family Planning

(Join each day’s Coffee Talk discussion: Mon: Parenting; Tues: Open Forum; Wed: NFP; Thu: Marriage; Fri: Education; Sat/Sun: Changing Roles)

This weekly thread is a place where you can share your struggles, triumphs, links, resources, concerns, and questions about all things related to Natural Family Planning.

Please join the conversation! 

Rebecca Teti


  • Any moms of many have words of advice for me? Just found out we are pregnant with baby #6. We have amazing kids and a great marriage and are financial doing fine. It is just emotionally overwhelming now with morning sickness and all the other responsibilities. I just wasn't expecting to be expecting so soon. We followed Marquette and this is the 3rd baby we have attempting to avoid using the system. I am a high mucus person and obviously very fertile (despite 4 miscarriages early on!). I jsut didn't think while still breastfeeding and using marquette I would be pregnant again at almost 41! i just worry about my husband and our mental stress. With so many kids, we will never retire. It is so much work all the time and I am tired. Can i be a good mother to all of them with each of their issues and personalities? And mostly I am worried about resuming relations after this baby. We are just so in love with each other and feel we need to be together to connect. Abstinence is extremely difficult when we want to be connected. And yes sometimes relieve some of the stress of our lives by being comforted in each others arms.

    Posted on Jan 9th, 2013 at 6:42 PM by Again?

  • Hmm, I feel for you--number 7is 5 months old and I (just) turned 44 and I have felt many of the same feelings! When I got pregnant with #7 someone (I think Jennifer Aniston but I don't follow celebs really closely) got pregnant too and headlines were "Miracle Baby." I googled the article and it said that less then 3% of people get pregnant naturally at 43 yo. I said "Hah! I always knew I was exceptional!" Seriously though we are currently trying very had to avoid and using a combination of Marquette Clear Blue and Creighton model . . . basically whichever is more conservative. This is the first time we have been serious about avoiding (given that #1 was 8 when #7 was born this is kind of obvious). Having said all that I don't think you will be as attentive to each child as you would if you only had 2 or three. However given the amount of attention my kids give each other I think individually they all get more attention then many kids from smaller families. I know that my "big" kids have more responsibilities then most (not all) kids from smaller families and I think this is really good for them. They know how to act with younger kids and they are able to use their imaginations to entertain themselves and others--all good things. Am I tired--oh yeah! Stressed--probably more then I like! Worried about relations--yep that too. Don't know that I have said anything to help you other then basically saying you aren't alone . . . if you want to talk let me know and maybe we could chat in real time sometime.

    Posted on Jan 9th, 2013 at 7:00 PM by Lisa

  • I'm just about due with #4 and seriously don't want any more kids!! I don't know how I'm supposed to stay open to life when I just want over with!!! Catholic? Check! NFP user? Check! Faithful to the Church teaching? Check? Seriously resentful of it? Check! I feel as though I'm emotionally and spiritually blackmailed into a life I can't cope with. I'm jealous if women who can say "we're done" and start moving on to other phases in their lives. I suppose I need some serious prayer time to hopefully lift these feelings away...

    Posted on Jan 9th, 2013 at 9:04 PM by Sad

  • It's easy to see the greener grass. It's human nature. I've seen the other side of a woman in sorrow because she wanted more children but had her tubes tied 11 years earlier & couldn't afford a reversal. I've thought it must be nice to "know" "your done". But it is sad too. Every life is a gift & I don't think anyone on their deathbeds wish they had fewer children. Don't let your exhaustion & emotional state steal your peace from Christ & inner joy.

    Posted on Jan 9th, 2013 at 11:06 PM by Re:Sad

  • For Sad: A few thoughts. First, it is possible to be faithful to Catholic teaching and not have any more kids. The Church leaves it up to the couple and their individual circumstances to make the best decision for their marriage and their family. Some families are more stable (mentally, physically, financially, in terms of outside support, etc). Some families are not as stable, often through no fault of their own. That being said, don't stress out about the future of your family when you are about due with a baby! Though I'm sure you already know that and just can't override the feeling right now. The beauty of NFP (if it works well for you) is that you can always change your mind. Three or four years from now you may realize you miss the new baby smell, or you may realize that it IS time for you and your family to move on to other phases of life.

    Posted on Jan 10th, 2013 at 10:06 AM by Andrea

  • At Unknown: I'm not sure what you're going on about. No-one accused you of anything. I think maybe you've got a little confused??? The last 2 posts were directed at me. I hope that clears the air??!

    Posted on Jan 10th, 2013 at 4:35 PM by Sad

  • @Sad, no worries, Jeanne has been busy hollering at people on every thread here ever since the forums got put up. She got in a lot of frequent-troller miles over at Faith & Family and is dedicatedly at it here too. Number of kids (she and her dh are unable to have any), stay-at-home moms, and living north of the Mason-Dixon line are kinda hot-button topics for her. Also cleaning b/c people in Florida are not so uptight as to need to sweep, scrub, or (in one memorable post) use napkins. :-) Just so you know, it's generally no use trying to talk sense to her.

    Posted on Jan 10th, 2013 at 5:36 PM by Anna

  • Again? - I will pray for you....And your newest addition. This will get easier soon! Pray for patience and energy now. One of the most amazing women I know has 6 kids - yes, she is tired and stressed but the joy and love her large family has is well worth it. I hope you will be able to enjoy that in the next several years as your family matures, but I can't imagine how hard it is now. When my twins were 2months old, I remember saying "This isn't normal" I really felt despair over the situation I was in with 2 high needs infants. But, now, things are better and I can't imagine life without them. Trust in God's divine plan and his mercy.....

    Posted on Jan 13th, 2013 at 10:19 PM by J

  • I was DONE at number 4, too. Done, done, done. I was chronically under sleeping, under eating and under pressure. I was ready to be snipped or let my dh go under the knife. But......after time, I learned to calm down. I learned to take things a bit easier. I learned that I cannot control everything, but I could go crazy trying. AND I am not blaming you for the way you feel! Feelings are a part of who we are. My feelings at that time were very real and very trying for me. I'm not trying to scare you here, either--I went on to have 4 more annoying, wonderful children. I'm still working on the letting go stuff. Some days I blow it. Most days I do well. (My "baby" is 7 now. What I wouldn't give for just one more! We've even talked about adoption. We have 2 grandchildren with a third making an appearance in March. And we will be marrying off another son in August. So much life!) My dad used to tell me to tie a knot in the end of my rope and hold on. A tired platitude, but I sure did! I'll be praying for you (and the kids will be, too) God Bless You!!

    Posted on Jan 14th, 2013 at 2:40 PM by Sharon

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