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By Rebecca Teti


Tuesday: Open Forum

(Join each day’s Coffee Talk discussion: Mon: Parenting; Tues: Open Forum; Wed: NFP; Thu: Marriage; Fri: Education; Sat/Sun: Changing Roles)

This is the Open Forum Coffee Talk. That means ... anything goes. Ask a question, make a suggestion, share a story, offer some advice -- the floor is yours!

Rebecca Teti

Comments

  • Prayer request. We are relocating after a job change. Please pray for a smooth transition. We have 9 kiddos at various stages in their lives so it will be a big change for all of them. Thank you so much.

    Posted on Jun 11th, 2013 at 9:00 AM by Mary L.

  • Mary L. -- Praying for your family's move... Lord, Jesus Christ, the true & living Way, who deigned to journey into Egypt with Joseph & Mary: we humbly pray, O all-holy Master, that you accompany Mary L. & her family with your grace on their journey. Send them, as You sent to Tobias, a guardian angel, preserving & delivering them from every evil assault of visible or invisible enemies. Direct them toward the fulfillment of your commandments. Preserve them in peace, happiness, & health. Grant them the fulfillment of their good intentions which are for your glory & in accordance with your good pleasure. May their move be in safety & peace, for to You it belongs to show mercy & to save us who give glory to You, & to your eternal Father, & to your all-holy, gracious, & life-giving Spirit, now & ever, & unto ages of ages. Amen. -- Also asking prayers for our eldest daughter who is highly allergic & has a terrible case of poison ivy (one eye is nearly swollen shut). Thank you!

    Posted on Jun 11th, 2013 at 9:52 AM by Patricia

  • Honestly, how difficult are the first weeks with a newborn? I am stressing out because my husband's parents have asked him to help them with an out of state move about a month after my due date, which would have him gone for four days and three nights. Depending on when the baby arrives, he/she should be between 3 and 6 weeks old at the time. As it gets closer, I am starting to get scared that I will not be up to it on my own that soon, especially if I deliver on the later side and/or have a c-section. I do want to be helpful to his parents and I can probably get my mom to come spend the night if I am really freaking out, but a part of me wants to shout, "Why can't one of your other kids who doesn't have a newborn do this?"

    Posted on Jun 11th, 2013 at 11:32 AM by meg

  • Okay, looking at my post, that ended up coming out more as a vent than asking for advice, but I really am wondering how hard those first few weeks are.

    Posted on Jun 11th, 2013 at 11:33 AM by meg

  • Meg, you didn't say, but I'm guessing this is your first--since you're uncertain of those newborn weeks. I would think (barring complications) you should have no trouble being by yourself by that time. If you're nursing a newborn through the night, you might be tired, but then again, you can rest during the day and not have to worry about fixing dinner for dh and so on. I know with my first, I was doing all kinds of things by that point (and I did have a c-section). With the subsequent deliveries--(vbac), it was a bit tougher, dealing with the toddlers and newborn together. Hope you can work it out and not worry about it!

    Posted on Jun 11th, 2013 at 1:45 PM by Mary Therese

  • I had a really tough time after the birth of my son. I had a c-section and had along recovery period. So, between the lack of sleep and recovering from the c-section, I was not up and around like other mothers. Just me, but I'd ask him to stick around.

    Posted on Jun 11th, 2013 at 3:38 PM by LauraL

  • Those first six weeks can be difficult. If at all possible, I'd ask him to stick around, esp. it being your first and not knowing what to expect. Don't know your husband or in-laws, but the key is probably presenting it in the best possible way. In a lot of cases, the parents are coming to help YOU in the first six weeks, not the other way around.

    Posted on Jun 11th, 2013 at 3:48 PM by Carolyn A

  • Meg, three weeks after my babies were born, I still really needed my husband at night. At six weeks, I could have done it alone a little better. Honestly, I'd ask your in-laws to ask one of their other children. There might be a good reason why they need your husband, in which case you might want to ask your mom to help, but it had better be a really good reason.

    Posted on Jun 11th, 2013 at 4:26 PM by Alice

  • meg, it does differ for everyone, but I was fine with my first on my own. You can sleep when baby does and that makes it easier to be up when baby needs you. And the not cooking or worrying about what dh thinks of the state of the house would be a plus for me. :-) My first wanted to be held *constantly*, but since she was the first, that wasn't a problem and I could just read or nap or talk to a friend on the phone while she nursed and slept. The first weeks with a newborn are the easiest (imo) since they are so sleepy and it's easy to know what they need since options are quite limited and they aren't mobile or anything (but *you* are by the time you hit 3-6 weeks pp). If you do have complications like a c-section or something, that could change things, but that could be the case anyway, so you could have the main plan be for dh to help his folks, but point out the need for a back-up plan if things don't go smoothly.

    Posted on Jun 11th, 2013 at 6:14 PM by Anna

  • Thanks for all the feedback! You've given me alot to think about.

    Posted on Jun 11th, 2013 at 7:37 PM by meg

  • This is just my opinion, but if you are the kind of woman who is worrying about this right now, there is a good chance that you are the kind of woman who doesn't just roll with the punches as easily. I speak from experience here, so don't be offended! There are moms out there who just sleep when the baby sleeps and relax through those first months. Then there are moms (like me) who can't sleep at all during the day (hard to relax when I'm sure the baby is just going to wake me up soon, or there is so much laundry to do, etc.). Way to go for those moms who could just hold a sleeping baby for hours while they read a book, but I just wanted to put the baby down and stretch my arms out --- maybe in a nice warm bath! If you are already worrying about this, I would consider trying to keep your husband home.

    Posted on Jun 11th, 2013 at 8:35 PM by Andrea

  • meg, Congratulations & God's blessings upon you & your precious little one on the way! Be sure to rest well these last weeks before your due date. It seems prudent to try & have someone (your mom, a friend, a neighbor, fellow parishioner, etc.) available to call upon should you need a hand.

    Posted on Jun 11th, 2013 at 8:36 PM by Patricia