All Things Related to Parenthood

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By Rebecca Teti


Monday: Parenting

(Join each day’s Coffee Talk discussion: Mon: Parenting; Tues: Open Forum; Wed: NFP; Thu: Marriage; Fri: Education; Sat/Sun: Changing Roles)

Terrible toddlers? Trying teens? Something in between? This weekly forum is the spot to share your questions and struggles about all things related to parenthood.

Please join us!

Rebecca Teti

Comments

  • Has anyone read these books: "Parenting with Grace" by the Popcaks and/or "Dare to Discipline" by Dobson? I read the former and am now reading Dobson's book after loving "Bringing up Girls". The books dole out advice that is polar opposite. It reminds me of sleep books- (ie- rock baby to sleep, never rock baby to sleep, never cry-it-out, do cry-it-out). Can any of you share your experiences after carrying out the methods described in those books? I am wondering if I should just avoid parenting books- they confuse the heck out of me!

    Posted on Jun 24th, 2013 at 1:59 PM by Holly

  • I have read both books, Dobson much longer ago, so I remember it less clearly. We read the Popcak's book because my husband hears them on Catholic radio, but it is much less our style. I think it is very important to be as consistent as possible (which isn't even close to 100%, right?) and it is important that you and your husband find parenting methods and discipline tools that you are both comfortable with. Beyond that, there isn't one right way to parent children. Some people do fall way on the attachment parenting side and can crack open a Dr. Sears book and get directions, and others fall way on the other side and can get a different book and follow it to a T. Most people fall somewhere in the middle and need to read a few things and pick what they like. For example, our first child was colicky and spend the first few months in a front carrier, but my next two were much more peaceful and I happily laid them on a blanket on the ground. We breastfed at least a year, but I wasn't interested in co-sleeping. I know this isn't advice based on using a particular method, but even if one of those methods worked great for one family, if it doesn't fit your and your husband's personality, it won't work as well for you. One book I would recommend is Dr. Ray Guarendi's "you are a better parent than you think." The Title speaks for itself!! He does give advice, but a lot of the book is about trusting yourself as a parent, putting yourself in charge of your family, the fact that parent's have rights, too, the idea that what works for one family might not work for yours, what worked for one of your kids might not work for the others, etc. It doesn't offer a cookie cutter answer, but it does help you gain confidence that you are a good parent.

    Posted on Jun 24th, 2013 at 2:17 PM by Andrea

  • Good advice, Andrea. I've not read any of Dr. Ray's books, but have heard him speak a handful of times at various Catholic homeschool conferences & on Catholic radio. Another book recommendation (more of a resource book, part parenting-part childcare) is "How to Raise a Healthy Child in Spite of Your Doctor" by the late Robert Mendelsohn, MD.

    Posted on Jun 24th, 2013 at 5:07 PM by Patricia

  • I think the fact that the Popcak book has a Catholic basis would give it somewhat of an edge over the Dobson book (which I have not read), although I have to admit that the Popcak book turned me off a little because of its bias toward attachment parenting and implication that other parenting styles are less biblical. I actually don't have anything against Attachment parenting (other than its name, which bothers me because it seems to imply that other parenting styles don't facilitate attachment). But I have an issue with implying that one parenting style is more Biblical than others.

    Posted on Jun 24th, 2013 at 6:16 PM by ClaireS