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By Rebecca Teti

Tuesday: Open Forum

(Join each day’s Coffee Talk discussion: Mon: Parenting; Tues: Open Forum; Wed: NFP; Thu: Marriage; Fri: Education; Sat/Sun: Changing Roles)

This is the Open Forum Coffee Talk. That means ... anything goes. Ask a question, make a suggestion, share a story, offer some advice -- the floor is yours!

Rebecca Teti


  • Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's Conclave Day! :)

    Posted on Mar 12th, 2013 at 6:16 AM by Scott in OH

  • I know! I'm excited but nervous....I just finished reading the list of those "at the top of the list" including the 2 Americans. Wow. Such incredible backgrounds. I am hoping someone arises w/ the ability to stabilize the admin and the interior workings of the church, lead w/ humility but be charismatic...just overall be a light that our beloved church so desperately needs right now. I have faith the cardinals willbe guided into choosing the right candidate...still a bit nerve-wracking!

    Posted on Mar 12th, 2013 at 7:53 AM by Avk

  • I figure the absolute earliest we will hear anything will be around 1 EST--probably closer to 2--can't wait although I don't expect to see white smoke today!

    Posted on Mar 12th, 2013 at 8:24 AM by Lisa

  • This seems like such a nit-picky question, but I can't stop wondering about it. I learned, and have always said, and have always heard others say the "Glory Be" as "Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end." For Lent, I've been trying to pray Lauds and Vespers every day, using the Liturgy of the Hours iBreviary app on my iPod, and the version that's included there is "Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit: as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be forever." I figured this was a different translation, or a Liturgy of the Hours specific version, but I looked it up on Wikipedia, which said that that is the official Catholic version, and the version I always knew is closer to the traditional Anglican version? I'm pretty sure the version I grew up with is the standard Catholic version and the one that all the other Catholics I know use - am I wrong about that? What's the story with the "official Catholic version" that no one I know has ever heard of?

    Posted on Mar 12th, 2013 at 10:48 AM by Kathleen

  • I thought some of you might be interested in these dolls I read about today -- American Girl-type dolls, with Downs Syndrome features. They are really beautiful. (I have no connection with either the doll website or the Downs doll makers, just found them inspiring.)

    Posted on Mar 12th, 2013 at 10:51 AM by Anne in NC

  • Kathleen, I looked up your question at Couldn't find your "exact" question, but maybe this answer will help? Quote: The Glory Be and some prayers of the Liturgy of the Hours use the phrase "world without end." I presume this refers to the coming of a new heaven and new earth. Is it incorrect therefore to refer to the "end of the world"? Answer: "World without end" is an idiom that means "forever" and is not meant to be taken literally. In Latin, the phrase saecula saeculorum means "ages of ages" (i.e., forever). In the current edition of the Liturgy of the Hours, it is translated "and will be for ages unending." End quote. I'm guessing it was "changed" when they did an updated translation--but without any fanfare, and probably no requirement for any of us to change our own way of praying it. I also notice at that in their tract on common prayer, they use the translation "world without end."

    Posted on Mar 12th, 2013 at 11:21 AM by Mary Therese

  • I am happy with our 5 kids. High school down to baby. My husband would like to have more---a few, or whatever, but I typically do the lion's share of the cooking, cleaning, teaching, running kids to activities, etc. I feel like I should get a say. He is a wonderful man, and tries really hard, but I truly think he is panicked about turning 50 this year. My body is starting through the "change" I feel edgy and cranky quite often, I will be 47 on my next birthday, and honestly, I would just like to raise the darlings we have, and move on. Who gave *him* my biological clock.....and how can I get it back?

    Posted on Mar 12th, 2013 at 12:24 PM by Quite content

  • Help finding beautiful, floral dresses for young teens? I have been looking and it seems all the styles out right now for bright, geometric print dresses that are too-short, and strapless. My 14 year old daughter loves floral, spring-inspired dresses and I am at a loss! Any ideas, please?

    Posted on Mar 12th, 2013 at 12:30 PM by Donna L.

  • Donna L, try a thrift store. (You may have to keep checking back, but what teen doesn't love an excuse to shop?!) I just found some gorgeous floral dresses for my daughter, sizes 8, 9, and 10, which should see her through the summer. I also found a lovely one for me, too! :) Happy shopping!

    Posted on Mar 12th, 2013 at 1:00 PM by Jen

  • My daughter is just starting to open up and talk to her little friends' parents. Of course she calls them what we do - by their first name. I'm wondering if we should instruct her to do differently. What do you have your children call their friends' moms and dads? I hear a lot of "Ms Jessica" or "Mr. Steve" these days from my kids' friends. I guess that is a more modern take on the traditional "Mr. Smith" or "Mrs. Brown." I don't want my kids to feel awkward by being the only people using the traditional style, but I also don't want parents to feel disrespected if my kids call them by their first name.

    Posted on Mar 12th, 2013 at 1:04 PM by Jen

  • Jen, I've found it's a lot harder these days than it used to be. We brought our children up to address Jane Smith's parents as Mr. or Mrs. Smith. However, we've kept running in to the fact that Jane Smith's mom is not Mrs. Smith, but is Ms. Brown, and Ms. Brown's husband might not even be Jane's dad, and Jane might call him Steve and might so ask her friends to call him Steve as well. :/ So, I can see where the Ms Jessica or Mr. Steve comes in handy. Basically--we strive for Mr./Mrs. Last Name, unless they tell us otherwise. There are a couple close family friends where first name address is used, but that's the exception, not the rule. I did enjoy at the grade school where I was simply known as "John's Mom"..."Hi John's Mom!" was often heard, and I answered to it without correction--although I will say that was usually Kdg and 1st grade. ;)

    Posted on Mar 12th, 2013 at 1:35 PM by Mary Therese

  • Donna L., not floral print, but my daughter just found some lovely floral lace covered, vibrant colored dresses that were surprisingly modest and pretty at Kohls. The website had more options than the store, we went into the store to try on and take a look, but wound up ordering from the website. I let her get 2 just b/c I was so pleased with the cap sleeves, full skirt, etc. So hard to find these days. Oh and Jen, my kids call my friends Mr. or Mrs. Last name. I have found that after they address someone like that, those people have their kids address me in the same way. I don't think there is anything wrong with the traditional, they still use that form of address in school with their teachers, why not with adults in their lives in other capacities?

    Posted on Mar 12th, 2013 at 1:42 PM by Danielle M.

  • Mary Therese, Thanks - I figured it was just a translation issue, but was so surprised to see that what I thought of as the standard Catholic version wasn't listed as a traditional Catholic version, but a traditional Anglican version! I suppose Wikipedia isn't necessarily an authoritative source, of course.

    Posted on Mar 12th, 2013 at 2:05 PM by Kathleen

  • Jen, I always think it's best to err on the side of too polite. Lots of parents want to be called by their first names, and will have no problem asking your kids to "Call me Jessica" - but if Jessica feels more comfortable being called "Mrs. Brown," it's a lot harder for her to ask your kids to change in the other direction. I grew up in an in-between generation, when a lot of parents used their first names, but my mom did not enjoy being called by her first name until she had invited a kid to do so (a privilege reserved for our closest friends). She would have been very aggravated if parents encouraged their children to call her by her first name. My sisters and I knew to call adults Mr. or Mrs. so-and-so until we were asked to call them by their first name - which led to certain families in which we called the parents, for example, Jessica and Mr. Brown, because the mom had said "Oh, call me Jessica," and the dad never had!

    Posted on Mar 12th, 2013 at 2:06 PM by Kathleen

  • Thank you for the ideas for dresses--I'll check into them! We have trained our kids to call people Mr./Mrs. Last name, and then if they say "call me Jessica" or "call me Brian"we call her "Miss Jessica" and him "Mr. Brian"- it's still a bit set apart, but not as formal. There are a few adults with whom my kids are very close, {Godparents} and we call them by first names...I have just taken to asking people what they wish us to have our children call them--so then we know.

    Posted on Mar 12th, 2013 at 2:34 PM by Donna L.

  • Kathleen: Making the Sign of the Cross each time we invoke the name of the Holy Trinity, Eastern Catholics say: "Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen." I am unsure about an 'official' way to say the Doxology. Donna L: Check out 11 On My Own: She is a single Catholic mom of 11, two of her teen daughters, Cassidy & Courtney have an Etsy shop where they sew, paint, & craft to help support their large, single-parent family. The eldest daughter is a very talented seamstress!

    Posted on Mar 12th, 2013 at 2:55 PM by Patricia

  • Donna L - Lands End has floral dresses for young girls that are very pretty.

    Posted on Mar 12th, 2013 at 3:22 PM by Marie

  • Jen, we make our kids say Mr/Mrs last name . . . and I tell the adults that ask to be called by the first name that our kids aren't allowed to do that. If they push I just explain that it makes it very clear for the kids who the adults are and helps them to continue to be respectful. While my kids aren't perfect (if only) they do tend to be more respectful then many of their peers and b/c of that most adults accept my explanation! Also my oldest is 9 so I am not dealing with teens.

    Posted on Mar 12th, 2013 at 4:30 PM by Lisa

  • Donna L- I've found some lovely dresses at Burlington Coat Factory for this spring. They're usually very reasonably priced, too!

    Posted on Mar 12th, 2013 at 5:48 PM by Dori

  • Quite content: First let me say that I understand you. I knew when I had my last child that chances were extremely high that that was my last one. I knew I could be wrong, but I didn't think so; all signs pointed to it being over, for me. It turned out I was right. And I was glad of it. When you are working with God's wishes for your life, there's nothing better. I knew He didn't want to me have another and I knew it, too. What a great feeling. No one gave your husband your biological clock, unless you did somehow. You feel like you "should get a say"; well, of course! You not only get a say, but it's important, valuable and has a tremendous amount of weight, since you carry the infant and do most of the work in the raising of your children. Have you made it clear to him that your prayer and contemplation regarding your life's calling makes you understand that you aren't called to have more children? Eventually, there *is* an end to every female's fertility, and I find it very healthy to be cognizant and accepting of that fact, which you seem to be. You can tell him that you'll keep an open mind, in case you sense that anything may change, but also at 47 your chances of conceiving have gone way down, so it is quite likely it isn't going to happen. In some way, he needs to come to terms with that and his own aging. But do make it clear to him what your thoughts are. They matter, very very much.

    Posted on Mar 12th, 2013 at 6:28 PM by Kitty

  • Jen: My experience (with kids addressing adults) has been similar to Mary Therese's. I would prefer that my son call his friends' parents Mr and Mrs., but not everyone is married, and many of the mothers don't share their husbands' names, etc. So we do a lot of "Miss Jessica", and even then I've had some friends tell my son to just call them by their first names, which I really don't like. I've also had some friends invite their kids to call me by my first name, and I don't really like that either. I would prefer "Mrs. Smith", but I'm okay with them calling me "Miss Claire".

    Posted on Mar 12th, 2013 at 7:29 PM by Claire S

  • Donna L: Right now Eddie Bauer on their website is showing many cotton floral dresses, some just below the knee and a couple maxis. Although they are sleeveless for the most part they are not bar and she could wear a cardigan or shrug.

    Posted on Mar 12th, 2013 at 8:31 PM by unknown

  • TO DONNA: Another thought: try Chadwicks (I know they have a catagloue and I imagine you can search them online. I remember getting pretty dresses from them in college. TO ALL: Thanks so much, all! I am so encouraged to hear how many people are using prefixes of some kind (whether with the last or first name). I will talk with my husband about it, but I think I like the Mr/Mrs Firstname to avoid confusion with name differences. Anyways, what I am going to nip in the bud is first-name-only addressing!

    Posted on Mar 13th, 2013 at 3:23 AM by Jen

  • Quite content: We're in a similar situation..a little younger and fewer children. As a husband, it took me years to get over being "results focused" and instead coming to a middle ground with my wife on how open to be with NFP and leaving it in God's hands. Fyi..for me I have to be very guarded against being a grouch when I find out her cycle has intimacy soon and not pregnant is a double whammy.

    Posted on Mar 13th, 2013 at 4:57 AM by unknown

  • I do what Lisa does. My children call all adults by Mr./Mrs. Last Name unless the adult specifically asks them to call them by their first name and then it is Mr./Mrs. First Name but never is it First Name only. I honestly hadn't considered the divorce/different last name issue although I suppose I need to give it some consideration now!

    Posted on Mar 13th, 2013 at 6:08 AM by Becky Le

  • Donna L- ModCloth has really cool dresses and many are floral. Although I'm not sure why floral would be better than geometric or any other pattern. I'm partial to polka dots these days myself! Oh, the deal website Zulily is a great place to find dressed too. I've bought myself a couple recently and they both cost less than $20 each and feel nice and look nice on me!

    Posted on Mar 13th, 2013 at 6:36 AM by Crunchy Con Mommy

  • Thank you once again for all the ideas for dresses! Patricia: I checked into their etsy shop, and was quite impressed. They seem to mostly have dolls for sale, but perhaps another time. I will be looking online...and Crunchy Con Mommy:--neither of us care much for the geometric/polka dot craze that seems to be all the rage...that's okay, more for you!

    Posted on Mar 13th, 2013 at 8:42 AM by Donna L.

  • Thank you so much to Kitty and Unknown {Husband} for your responses. I appreciate hearing from others in similar situations. I will tread very lightly if I bring this up at all, as last time I mentioned that perhaps we "could enjoy the children already sent to us" rather than continually longing for a new baby there was a big fight, and then a silent treatment for a while. Sigh...

    Posted on Mar 13th, 2013 at 10:34 AM by Quite content

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