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By Rebecca Teti


Tuesday: Open Forum

(Join each day’s Coffee Talk discussion: Mon: Parenting; Tues: Open Forum; Wed: NFP; Thu: Marriage; Fri: Education; Sat/Sun: Changing Roles)

This is the Open Forum Coffee Talk. That means ... anything goes. Ask a question, make a suggestion, share a story, offer some advice -- the floor is yours!

Rebecca Teti

Comments

  • What to do when going gray? Personally, I like a bit of gray at the temples, as I think it looks distinguished. My husband mentioned that maybe I would like to color my hair? I am not upset, really, but also I am not excited about pouring chemicals on myself to darken my hair, either. Thoughts?

    Posted on Apr 9th, 2013 at 8:57 AM by unknown

  • unknown, I have friends who've had some success using henna to color their hair. I wouldn't be too thrilled about the toxic chemicals in most hair dyes, either. This link might be helpful: http://www.motherearthnews.com/Modern-Homesteading/1982-03-01/Hair-Color-Natural-Dyes.aspx#axzz2Pyg39qXp My sister-in-law, who has a full head of silvery hair, has always maintained that she's earned every gray hair on her head & has no intention of coloring them. ;) When I was in high school I worked with an older woman at a local farmer's market who had a long, thick, silver braid that she wore down her back...I've always looked forward to the day when that would be me! :)

    Posted on Apr 9th, 2013 at 9:57 AM by Patricia

  • I started to go gray at age 17. It was noticeable enough that my friends commented on it in my freshman year in college. I didn't dye it for about 12 years. Around the age of 29, even my 90 year old grandmother was commenting about how I should fix it (my mom and sister had been bugging me since it started). While I don't love the chemicals, I think it makes a big difference about how people perceive me. When I started to work in the professional world, I noticed that it affected me negatively to not have it dyed. So I bit the bullet and started doing it. I just do a home dye job($9 every 2 months instead of $75 at the salon). I picked a color that matched my natural color closely - since I actually like my natural color Men can go gray gracefully, but unfortunately, women don't! And just for reference, my SIL who is 45 is completely gray and does not dye her hair. She has been asked too many times if her kids are her grandkids or if husband is her son. I think it's great that she doesn't dye it, but it drives her husband crazy when she gets those questions!

    Posted on Apr 9th, 2013 at 2:19 PM by JM

  • JM, Wow, that is early to gray...it is a shame that you found people treated you differently based on hair color. I am sorry to hear that. That is funny about your SIL (though I am sure she gets tired of people assuming she is grandma!)...my husband went gray early like his father & when he grows a beard (he does the big, bushy type each winter)...admittedly, he does look like a grandpa! He, too, has been asked more than once if our children are his grandchildren! ;) (though no one has asked if I was his daughter!)

    Posted on Apr 9th, 2013 at 4:52 PM by Patricia

  • I believe I can think of several things that are worse than a frumpy woman who doesn't take care of herself.

    Posted on Apr 9th, 2013 at 4:56 PM by a busy mom

  • unknown (the first one), ignore the last 5 comments, they are obviously from Jeanne, a troll who has nothing better to do than berate those of us on this board who have real questions. I think it all comes down to how you feel. If you are OK with the grays then embrace them. If they bother you, there is nothing wrong with coloring them, and there are alternatives out there to harsh chemicals, call around to local salons and see if they offer them. I think you should do what feels right for you.

    Posted on Apr 9th, 2013 at 5:44 PM by Danielle M.

  • Thank you for the encouragement, as well as personal stories and advice. Personally, I feel *proud* - in a good way, of having lived this long, and don't mind the silvery gray of some of my hairs. My husband looks fabulous and young and handsome--works out, and takes care of himself, and has been dyeing his own hair for years. So, I want to look good and appear younger, partially for him, partially for my kids but it's not a big deal to me. I wear a bit of makeup each day, wash and brush my hair and fix it, dress in casual/dressy clothes when we are home/running errands and I often check with my oldest daughter to make sure I don't set off the *frump alarm*...I guess that's why I wrote in, just to see what other Wives and Mommies do...Thank you for responding to me

    Posted on Apr 10th, 2013 at 12:04 AM by Unknown (original poster today)

  • JM, I feel for you. I started going grey in my late teens too. Love those genetics! I definitely recommend henna if you want to naturally color your hair. There are different shades of henna and many will leave some red so choose carefully!

    Posted on Apr 12th, 2013 at 3:41 PM by Becky Le

  • JM, I feel for you. I started going grey in my late teens too. Love those genetics! I definitely recommend henna if you want to naturally color your hair. There are different shades of henna and many will leave some red so choose carefully!

    Posted on Apr 12th, 2013 at 3:41 PM by Becky Le