Thursdays For Marriage

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By Rebecca Teti


Thursday: Marriage

(Join each day’s Coffee Talk discussion: Mon: Parenting; Tues: Open Forum; Wed: NFP; Thu: Marriage; Fri: Education; Sat/Sun: Changing Roles)

Struggling in your marriage? Have some relationship advice to share? Have a marriage success story to share? Have a man/woman question? This weekly thread is the place to do it.

Come on in and join the conversation!

Rebecca Teti

Comments

  • How does one counter communication barrier?

    Posted on Dec 20th, 2012 at 7:10 AM by unknown

  • Can you give us a little more to go on? What sort of barrier?

    Posted on Dec 20th, 2012 at 7:19 AM by Rebecca

  • We are of different faiths and this is my first marriage. 10 years ago I welcomed my wife and her two kids into my life. She asked questions of me during our dating that I didn't have answers to and her protestant church seemed so friendly and vibrant. It was understood that I was to be a father figure, head of the household and I would attend their church. Within a two year period, I missed my Catholic Church and went back. Within 5 years, we were separated but reconnected after 10 months of not living together. The marriage has been faithful, no alcohol and no physical abuse. This year we are getting a divorce mainly due to her narcissistic, controlling, manipulative behavior that makes my living conditions unbearable and the mental abuse intolerable. And the fact that she cannot respect the Catholic faith. I have tried for years to pray for her to receive grace. We've been to multiple counselors over the years. Please be sure be wise in your choice for a spouse. And what helped me make my decision was during a homily about 6 months ago when Father spoke of about divorce. He said when someone is keeping you from God, it is understood that you have major relationship issues. Thanks, I just needed to vent as I have told nobody about this. Your board is a safe haven. I ask for your prayers as I move forward. And I am aware of Satan's input with depression and despair. They are signs that he is there and I continue to avoid them.

    Posted on Dec 20th, 2012 at 10:43 AM by jh

  • I pray that you find peace in the faith! My prayers go to you for healing!

    Posted on Dec 20th, 2012 at 1:24 PM by unknown

  • Praying for you, jh. May you find some solace in this season of the Lord.

    Posted on Dec 20th, 2012 at 6:28 PM by K

  • jh, My prayers are with you. My husband and I have been separated for over 2 months and I believe there is definitely a possession issue at play. The great deceiver is SO evil. I will pray for you, for your spouse and her children. In the meantime please google "Divorced Catholics". There is a great website that has helped me so much in dealing with all of my conflicting emotions and guilt over what is happening. God bless you!

    Posted on Dec 21st, 2012 at 9:12 AM by Going through something similar

  • Why are you sooo rigid? Usually rigid people in the faith have it my way or the bleeping highway. There's no real effort to help them understand.

    Posted on Dec 21st, 2012 at 9:38 AM by Questioning jh about his rigidness.

  • jh, so sorry for your situation. And sorry for Jeanne piling on here; please don't think the comments of one troll represent the rest of us who are compassionate about what you're going through.

    Posted on Dec 21st, 2012 at 10:07 AM by Anna

  • jh, We are praying for you! If there is the slightest chance of reconciliation, please pray and work on it. Have you checked into the Retrouvaille program -- it's a program similar to Marriage Encounter, but for couples in serious trouble or in divorce proceedings. http://www.retrouvaille.org/ If it's truly too late for that, you might also find the resources at this site helpful: www.catholicdivorce.com And of course our frequent commenter Jeanne is right, the USCCB page for marriage is full of good resources. http://foryourmarriage.org/ What was unwelcome was her jeering remark in the face of someone else's great sorrow. I'm sorry for the pain it must have caused you. I'm not at the computer all day to police conversations, but will always delete that kind of comment if I find it. Sending a hug and a prayer your way.

    Posted on Dec 21st, 2012 at 8:10 PM by Rebecca Teti

  • Rigid???? Yes, rigid. Definition: unwillingness to bend to God's true Will. We think it is our way or the bleeping highway. Of course, my highway ends at the beach where we will be spending the first New Year's weekend AFTER THE HOLIDAYS AND BEFORE Disney when it is cheaper for Florida residents. How cheap? 180 for three days with a Florida DL. Our New Year's Rez don't take yourselves sooooo soo seriously.

    Posted on Dec 28th, 2012 at 9:47 AM by Jeanne in Florida, for real

  • I am not a troll. I am a real person. I do give a hoot about most of you. I actually pray for you. To write that is cruel. If I were to meet you at my parish Christ the king in Tampa, I would take and YOUR FAM OUT FOR bagels on Sunday after church here. Then, Sunday Beach. I would .... ask our pastor and staff here on the west coast of Florida. Calling people trolls is clueless up north behavior. It is rigid and sad. I really do live here and I am not mean like you. I have never called anyone a troll. Maybe I have called them a large blimpy thundera because I have this awful pic in my head of you all eating nothing but bread during all your winter storms that make you so fat and mean, but not a troll. Solution: don't eat so much that you have to shop at Lane Bryant. I wouldn't be caught dead in that store. I would eat healthy and care how I looked. Drink water not soda. Eat real veggies not starch. See? I care. I am not a troll. WEight Watchers is free to join this year. I am goin on it. I wear a 14-12 and not an 18. I am 5"6 &3/4 inches. I wear a 10/9 shoe and almost never wear socks and sneakers. I am a real person. I am not mean. Are you?

    Posted on Dec 28th, 2012 at 10:51 AM by Jeanne in Florida, for real