Let's Talk About Growing Older

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By Rebecca Teti


(Join each day’s Coffee Talk discussion: Mon: Parenting; Tues: Open Forum; Wed: NFP; Thu: Marriage; Fri: Education; Sat/Sun: Changing Roles)


Our weekend forum is for issues related to "the sandwich generation." Coping with menopause, caring for aging parents, relations with adult children, grandchildren, going back to work after years at home. Want to hash out a difficulty, get some advice or share a strategy?


This is the place! Come join the conversation!

Rebecca Teti

Comments

  • I'll toss out some questions to get us rolling. How do you handle it when Mom or Dad starts slipping, mentally? Do you correct them when they get stories wrong or just play along? How do you respect your parents' dignity and wishes while over-riding clearly odd or confused requests?

    Posted on Nov 24th, 2012 at 11:58 AM by Rebecca

  • Ok, I've regained some composure and do have some thoughts now. It's very difficult when your parents start failing, both mentally and physically. First and foremost we have to make sure we don't invade their privacy "too" much unless the situation becomes a real problem. I listen to stories at least 3 times some days and would love to go into the examining room with my parents when they see the doctor. At thus point it is a concern, but not a necessity in every case. Serious medical situations do require this, and that is when it gets hairy. What I do suggest is to make sure you take care of yourself. If You don't do that your own family will suffer when you start stretching yourself too thin. Our aging parents can be a big burden, but the key is to get as much information as possible and take care of your own health.

    Posted on Nov 24th, 2012 at 12:14 PM by Joan

  • Hi! I'm 68 years old. I've been through the experience of both my mother and my husband's parents aging. It is so hard to see them this way, losing their independence because of failing health or mental capabilities. They have passed on now but we kept on loving them and respecting them and their wishes for as long as we could. When it was evident that they were unable to function on their own we always offered them them the choice of one thing or another to keep their dignity and independence going for as long as possible. We made contact with my husband's parents on a daily basis to let them know they were important to us, either a telephone call or a quick visit as they lived near us. My mother lived a nundred miles away in another city so we kept in touch by phone and drove to her city to visit as often as circumstances would permit. When she was eventually placed in a nursing home we would telephone and the caregiver would hold the phone to her ear so that she could hear us, even though she could no longer respond. We always told our parents we loved them and we prayed for them. As I'm getting older I'm becoming more able to understand what they were going through as they aged and I hope that our adult children will give my husband and me the respect and dignity which we will be longing for when we reach the stage of needing care.

    Posted on Nov 26th, 2012 at 4:14 PM by Mrs. R

  • What a lovely testimony, Mrs. R. Sounds like you did all you could to honor your parents according to the commandment. Thanks for sharing.

    Posted on Nov 30th, 2012 at 5:16 AM by Rebecca