Open Forum

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By Rebecca Teti


Tuesday: Open Forum

(Join each day’s Coffee Talk discussion: Mon: Parenting; Tues: Open Forum; Wed: NFP; Thu: Marriage; Fri: Education; Sat/Sun: Changing Roles)

This is the Open Forum Coffee Talk. That means ... anything goes. Ask a question, make a suggestion, share a story, offer some advice -- the floor is yours!

Rebecca Teti

Comments

  • When was your last confession? I went last Sunday.

    Posted on Mar 5th, 2013 at 5:49 AM by Rob NH

  • I went Saturday. I planned on going the week before but work nights and overslept. I go monthly, or more often if needed.

    Posted on Mar 5th, 2013 at 6:07 AM by Scott in OH

  • I fail to see who or how it benefits for me to say when my last confession was. :s

    Posted on Mar 5th, 2013 at 6:12 AM by unknown

  • I think it's any discussion of Confession is beneficial. Too many Catholics ignore it nowadays and aren't even aware of our requirement to go at least once a year, or even acknowledge the fact that sins other than murder and adultery count as mortal sins and have to be confessed. I try to bring it up with my less-active Catholic family and friends when I can in the hopes of encouraging them to at least think about it and their need to observe the Sacraments.

    Posted on Mar 5th, 2013 at 6:17 AM by Scott in OH

  • It seems that any reminder about the healing Sacrament of Confession would be of benefit to all. Those who have gone recently understand the blessings of the graces received...those who know they are in need of going may be grateful for this gentle nudge toward going...those who feel no need to reply simply won't reply. Scott in OH makes a valid point. Sadly, we live in a very poorly catechized age & one that all but denies the reality of sin.

    Posted on Mar 5th, 2013 at 6:54 AM by RepentantThief

  • My first time going to confession was after I had converted to Catholicism before my husband & I were married. I was shaking, nervous, and pretty much terrified of what was to come. I went in & started nervously rambling every wrong I had done pretty much from birth. I went on for several minutes and had just got into my jr high years when Fr. politely interrupted & guided me thru the process. Looking back on my conversion to Catholicism & learning about the traditions/customs, etc. it was a completely new experience, a wonderful time where I finally felt a sense of comfort & "home" but also anxiety...I wanted to learn everything perfectly. It took several years for me to just relax & enjoy the journey & be able to be perfectly content with being imperfect. I still stumble over some responses and ask many questions but my husband & inlaws have benefited and enjoyed my journey into the faith thus far too because some answers they don't know & we learn together or they relearn something they may have forgotten.

    Posted on Mar 5th, 2013 at 7:06 AM by Avk

  • For Scott - our family goes to confession about once every month. We plan on going as a family again before Easter... Is anyone else having a tough time with Seasonal Affective Disorder or just all out depression?? I seem to be in such a blue mood, and I can't seem to snap out of it. I had a check-up, I'm "healthy" so doctor wanted to put me on anti-depressants, but I didn't take them...Yet.... Isn't there anything *ELSE* I can do besides pop a pill with dozens of side-effects?

    Posted on Mar 5th, 2013 at 10:19 AM by Lynnea

  • Lynnea - there are a variety of treatments for Seasonal Affective Disorder and depression. I would definitely recommend talking with your doctor again - physical activity, light (for seasonal affective disorder), etc can all be helpful, either alone or used together with anti-depressants. Good luck! You are in my prayers.

    Posted on Mar 5th, 2013 at 11:07 AM by TM

  • Lynnea, I'm sorry to hear of your struggle. Consider checking into natural supplements & dietary changes for SAD and/or depression. TM makes a good suggestion of the use of light (natural or artificial) & physical activity (especially outdoors). Ask the intercession of St. Dymphna, too. Will say a prayer for you! God bless!

    Posted on Mar 5th, 2013 at 11:23 AM by Patricia

  • My issue: my husband seems to be emotionally disengaging from our family. I think he feels more "naturally" good at his job than at being a Dad/husband, and so more and more of his energy is going to work (by his choice). My question: how to help hubs get interested in re-engaging with the family, emotionally? How to help him get his heart back into doing things *with* us (playing) instead of just *for* us (working)? For what its worth, all this started with him getting a lot of recognition on the job (which of course made him happy and want to do more of this type of work for his boss!), resulted in less time with the kids, then led to him being less in-the-loop with the kids, now the kids seem to feel less excited about him being around, and of course he is less excited about being around people who are less excited about him, so he works even MORE... I hope you can see that this is an endless spiral downward for us. And did I mention that hubs has recently made some vaguely bothersome remarks like, "You parent your way; I do my thing." and "You do the kid-thing; I do the work-thing." Its like he's justifying this whole thing by making work "his" thing and parenting "mine." Oh, and did I mention he has skipped an entire non-fertile phase with no time for intimacy? His excuse is that he doesn't want to give me his tired-self, but only his best-self. I want to say, "Well, rest up so you have some energy at the end of the day!" I mean, gee, I am waking up with a baby multiple times per night and I still rush the kids to bed on time so we *could* have some opportunity for intimacy. But I am getting sick of rushing everyone to bed only to have him just roll over and start snoring. I guess its the opposite problem husbands usually complain about wives being too tired! But its not really about the sex... its about him desiring things more than his job. The "best" of himself goes to work and we are getting the leftovers, if there ARE any leftovers at the end of the day.

    Posted on Mar 5th, 2013 at 1:12 PM by anon

  • Lynnae-have you had your blood levels checked (Iron & Vit D)? We were in FL for awhile & then moved to MI. My symptoms were SAD & after getting checked out, 10,000 IU Vit D later I felt a marked improvement. Anon-my heart goes out to you! I can't begin to imagine the toll that is taking on you & your kids. It seems there's more to be resolved than just engaging with your kids & being more actively involved. It also sounds like he is not taking what you say seriously or making you a priority. For the sake of your marriage & kids may I suggest talking with your priest or finding a marriage counselor. Prayers being sent your way. May God Bless you & give you strength, confidence, and most importantly the love you so need right now!

    Posted on Mar 5th, 2013 at 4:36 PM by Avk

  • Anon-what would he say if you said "I want your tired self! Your tired self is hot!" That's what I'd say to my husband!! Lol. If he's genuinely too tired to have sex for more than a day or two in a row, he needs to visit the doctor and make sure there's not some underlying problem wearing him out like thyroid issues, depression, etc. Because chronic fatigue is not normal! If he's not that tired, he needs to give up his lame excuse and tell you what's really going on!!

    Posted on Mar 6th, 2013 at 7:04 AM by Crunchy Con Mom

  • Crunchy Con Mom, thanks! I will try it. He has been "too tired" for over a week (and this is a regular thing, not just a particularly bad week). We end up missing lots of non-fertile opportunities and then have to abstain for long periods (which never seems to bother him). But it bothers me b/c he kind of forgets to do thoughtful things at all when these no-sex phases go on and on. He gets so wrapped up in work I think he just forgets I have feeling/emotions. :(

    Posted on Mar 6th, 2013 at 7:31 AM by anon

  • Thank you for your helpful comments...guess I need to start taking vit d and research some other ideas..God bless you all

    Posted on Mar 6th, 2013 at 10:14 AM by Lynnea