Should I Attend My Cousin's Same-Sex Wedding?

Comments

  • Marguerite SaltonstallJuly 25, 2015

    First of all, one thing is quite unclear - why on earth would Laura and her husband wish to be at a Thanksgiving celebration at which her gay cousin Dave and his "husband" Sean are present?? Laura has already made clear that she and her husband, both "devout Christians", refused to go to the cousin's same-sex wedding (presumably a civil marriage) purely because that cousin and his partner are a gay couple. And that is exactly what Catholic church leaders call for. Bishops urge all Catholics, not just the devout ones, to stay away from same-sex marriages. And not just the weddings. After an Australian couple, Mr and Mrs Pirola, told the Synod of Bishops in Rome (autumn 2014) that they would like to include their gay son and his male partner in a family Christian cekebration, the most distinguished and senior American bishop, Cardinal Burke, explained that they had a Christian duty to exclude and disown their son (in particular, to protect any children present at the Christmas dinner). For the same reasons, surely, Laura and her husband would not wish to attend any Thanksgiving dinner attended by Dave and Sean. As for Aunt Sue, well, presumably she - as a mother - loves her son. Thus maybe it's understandable that she is not thrilled with Laura's attitude. Sue might well fear that Laura and her husband would use the Thanksgiving meal as an opportunity for further words and actions demonstrating their rejection of Dave and Sean. To be honest, if I were Sue, I would certainly be worried: aware of how pious Laura and her husband are, and how far they will go in distancing themselves from sinners like Dave and Sean, I might quail at the thought of having Laura and her husband at my table. I agree with the contributor who said that Laura should organise her own Thanksgiving dinner. That way she can ensure that only perfect and stainless heterosexual non-sinners are invited. (Meanwhile, the US Supreme Court has decided that same-sex couples have a constitutional right to marry, and the Bishops have again insisted that Catholics must decline invitations to same-sex ceremonies - and furthermore should engage in "civil disobedience" to thwart such unions.)

  • Jim LJuly 19, 2015

    Great Article. Was looking for a little insight on this. I'm so tired of people saying we MUST celebrate this gay union no matter what our religious beliefs may say. I have been taught and I teach my kids to love everyone but we would never celebrate behavior that is immoral.

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  • jennifer GilbertJanuary 12, 2015

    Thank You, This story has cleared a few doubts and also given me understanding.

  • Lily MarieAugust 3, 2014

    Laura most definitely DID take a stand and confront the family when she declined the invitation and refused to send a gift. She might as well have sent them a card that said "You are sinners and you are going to burn in h*ll." Because after all, that is exactly what her "principles" are saying, are they not? I dont' know who is more obtuse here, Laura or the author. Laura absolutely has the right not to acknowledge the wedding. But she also needs to realize that actions have consequences and in this case, "Aunt Sue" and the others have the right to not have Thanksgiving spoiled by the uncomfortable presence of someone who had quite definitely confronted the couple with her opinion on same sex marriage by refusing to acknowledge their bond. So yes...live by your principles. But understand that there are consequences in so doing. Life is tough all over.

  • Lois JonesMay 6, 2014

    This is the most UNChristian article ever! Like her son is okay with being treated like a sinner on his wedding day? Give me a break! Not attending her sons wedding will create irreversible damage their relationship for the rest of their lives. I am blown away when so called good Christians insist on creating pain and suffering on their own family members. Disgusting and wrong!

  • Steve JohnsonApril 27, 2014

    We ought to love each other, not judge, and lead by example not exclusion. I celebrate people's lives with them whether or not I understand or would make the same choices. I cannot imagine cutting myself off from a cousin, a child, a friend with such self certainty. This is a very complicated matter. This may look very clear to the author in her life experience; fortunately she does not have to live the life her cousin or her son does. I doubt she would be so sure. I pray the Lord will meet each of the people in this sad family story where they are and give them graces to live the life they actually have.

  • Jane AlversonMarch 27, 2014

    Laura should host her own Thanksgiving dinner and invite everyone and let the chips fall where they may- don't leave it to "Aunt Sue" to host- start her own family tradition. Mary McLaughlin: If you love someone, you don't encourage them to commit a sin that will keep them from Eternity with Jesus, our Lord. We are not to judge the state of someone's immortal soul- but we are required to judge someone's sinful actions and do as Jesus did by imploring them to sin no more. Look up "Courage" an organization for Catholics suffering from same-sex attraction and who live by the tenets of the Catholic faith.

  • aurora pomalesJanuary 4, 2014

    Thank you, this story help me so much. I have been so sad and hurt that my sister said she is done with me. Because I didnt attend her wedding to a women. I love them both, we talked almost every day. I thiought they knew my position on this. I am a practecing Catholic, my husband is studing to be orden a premenet deacon. We are so hurt, but we do not want to offen God we love Him more.

  • Heidi BrattonDecember 3, 2013

    Mary Beth, thank you. I'm going to archive this for the times I know will come in our family's future, too. Peace, Heidi

  • Mary McLaughlinNovember 5, 2013

    I am finding it very difficult to listen to people that claim to love the sinner but not the sin. Put yourself in the position of a gay person and you would feel differently. If you have a gay child you love and accept them! You may feel heartbroken because you know that all through their lives people will discriminate against them and it is NOT an easy life. Shame on the so-called Christians that are NOT practicing their Christian faith. God is love and he who abides in love abides in God..and God in him. Peace. Don't judge.

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