My husband, the romantic?

My husband felt he had failed in the romance department. I set out to show him he was wrong…

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By Deb Stanley

“What’s the most romantic thing your spouse has ever done?” the emcee asked the three couples. My husband Scott and I were attending a wedding for one of our friends, and a family rendition of “The Newlywed Game” was taking place. In the game, both spouses would privately answer the same question, and then see if they matched.


“I don’t know how I would answer that,” Scott leaned over and whispered. He was indicating that when the time would come for him to name the most romantic thing he had done for me, he wasn’t sure what to say.


“Oh, you’re plenty romantic,” I whispered back, and then promptly forgot about the incident as dinner was served and we talked and laughed with the other guests at the table.


A few days later, I noticed that Scott seemed somewhat subdued. “What are you thinking about?” I asked.


“It still bothers me that I can’t think of anything romantic that I have done for you,” he replied.


I reminded Scott of several occasions that were romantic, but he didn’t feel any better.


As I got into bed that night I began to reflect, What is romance anyway? Most people think of weekend getaways or vacations to exotic places. Candlelight dinners and flowers for special occasions might top the list. But those moments, as wonderful as they are, are few and far between the things that take place every day. I thought back to our life together. Maybe true romance is more in the daily happenings of life than in the occasional moments.


Maybe romance is in the way Scott says “Hi, Gorgeous!” when he greets me, even though after three children, and more than 25 years of marriage, I hardly recognize the young bride in our wedding album. Maybe romance is in the daily walks when we talk about the trivial and momentous parts of our day and of our life together. Maybe it’s the way we still hold hands and show our affection, ignoring our teenage daughters’ cries of “Get a room!”


Maybe romance is the way Scott encouraged me to be a teacher when I shared with him my dreams of teaching children with special needs. We had very little money at the time. And even though it meant Scott had to squeeze childcare duties into an already tight ministry schedule, he never complained. In fact, he was my biggest cheerleader.


And he did it all over again when I said I wanted to go back to school for my master’s degree. I thought of how I never tire of spending time with Scott, how even a trip to the grocery store is somehow special, simply because I’m spending time with this man I love so much.


“Maybe,” I said to Scott the next evening as our family sat down to dinner, “romance isn’t as much about the occasional candlelight dinner or a romantic weekend getaway as it is about the hundreds of ways you show me you love me every single day.”


With that said, I reached over and gave him a big hug and kiss and grinned as a familiar chorus of “Get a room!” reverberated throughout the kitchen.


Reprinted with permission from Chicken Soup for the Soul: True Love: 101 Heartwarming and Humorous Stories About Dating, Romance, Love, and Marriage by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, and Amy Newmark.


A blessing for my spouse

Make the Sign of the Cross on your spouse as you say each line. Then, when the blessing is finished, let your spouse do the same to you.

  • Bless (Name)’s mind to understand You, Lord.
  • Bless (Name)’s eyes to see You, Lord.
  • Bless (Name)’s ears to hear You, Lord.
  • Bless (Name)’s lips to speak for You, Lord.
  • Bless (Name)’s arms to work for You, Lord.
  • Bless (Name)’s hands to comfort You, Lord.
  • Bless (Name)’s feet to follow You, Lord.

-Julie L. Rattey

Deb Stanley