CD: What expectations did you have going into the project, and how did that compare to your actual experience?YV: I didn’t have any expectations, really. I had a feeling it was going to be an adventure, and it was. You can ask Steven [Adly Guirgis], but I think he wrote the part for me specifically to do, so he knew that I could do this thing for him. I usually try to go into situations without any expectations, because it could be disappointing, and just see what happens — and what happened with this was far beyond anything I could have ever even imagined. It became a very big part of my life, doing this show. Even on days off, I’d be carrying the show within me. It was like you couldn’t put this down, because I was always afraid to get too far away from it. You always knew at 8 o’clock that night, you had to deliver the show.
CD: How did that compare with other parts that you’ve played. Did you have a similar experience of not being able to “put the part down”? Or was that a new experience for you?YV: Usually, when you do a play, you can never really put the play down until you’re really done with it. But, usually, as the run goes on, it becomes easier. This one became more difficult. I remember one night I was really down right before the show, and I remembered Jim was backstage, as he was almost every night. I said, “I just don’t have it tonight, Jim. I don’t know why. I’m so tired, and it just becomes more difficult.” And he said to me, “Because, you are in a way, preaching. And that’s exhausting.” He told me a story about the first homily he gave, and he was exhausted and he didn’t know what had happened, and he said something like — “You’re giving the word of God.” My dialogue in the play is not sermon-like, and yet it kind of is, because I’m the guy who’s prosecuting Judas. But that was wild when he said that to me. I’d never thought of it that way.
CD: Was there a scene or a moment in that play that especially resonated with you?YV: So many. Pilate’s speech to Cunningham is pretty intense. It’s the speech about truth, about “What do you know about me? You don’t know anything about me.” I think there’s a scene, too, the scene they did as a film, where Judas is pleading — he wants to give back and money — and Pilate says to him, “Relax, man, it wasn’t like we were going to crucify the mother------.” That was always a very intense thing every night. But there were so many moments in the play, it’s hard to even say. But some of the Pilate stuff was very powerful.
CD: As the play was not actually finished when you received it, none of you would have known the ending until some point during the rehearsal process. Did the play end as you hoped it would? In other words, at the end of the play, did you expect that Judas would say no to Jesus’ forgiveness, or were you hoping that he would say yes? What were your hopes and expectations for how the play would end, and how did you feel when you found out what the ending of the play actually was?YV: That’s a good question. I don’t know. I don’t know. I didn’t know — so much is going on, you’re so involved in what you’re doing, that you’re not thinking of those things. In retrospect, I’m kind of glad it doesn’t have a happy ending.
CD: Why?YV: Cause that’s too neat, you know. And I think life and humanity and spirituality is a lot more complicated. To me, spirituality and God is not a
Deus ex machina — put my hand out and make everything great for you; it’s about daily work, daily work. And a lot of things I discussed with Jim were about that; it’s tough to be a human being. And it’s hard to be an artist. It’s daily work. I don’t know how else to put it.
CD
Julie Rattey is managing editor of Catholic Digest.
