When my friend Robert was young, he went to Confession a lot. Through high school and college the sacrament remained a regular part of his life. But one day when he was in his early 20s, one Confession changed everything.
The priest was clearly having a bad day. He seemed annoyed at Robert for even being there, appeared impatient with his list of sins, and yelled at him for messing up a couple of the words in the “Oh my God I am heartily sorry” prayer. “The next time you come to my church,” the priest scolded, “come prepared!”
There was no next time. More than 30 years later Robert still goes to Mass every Sunday and takes an active part in his parish’s life, but he’s never been back to Confession.
He and I talked about it recently. “You’re not still mad at that priest, are you?” I asked.
“No, of course not,” he said. “I forgave him a long time ago. We all have our bad moods.”
“Then why have you never been back to Confession?” I asked, one friend to another.
Robert thought for a moment. “I don’t know,” he said. “At first I stayed away because I was mad. But as time went by I just got out of the habit. I found I didn’t miss it, and maybe didn’t need it. I’m a good person,” he added.
Robert isn’t alone. Catholics don’t go to Confession as often as they used to. Maybe our ideas of sin have changed. Maybe some got out of the habit of confessing. Maybe some had bad experiences with the Church that they haven’t gotten over. Maybe some feel that what they do in their lives is none of the Church’s business. All of them probably see themselves, like Robert, as “good persons.” And generally they are.
“But you know Penance isn’t just for great sinners,” I said to Robert. “It’s a sacramental encounter with the Lord that can help everyone, even saints!”
“Yeah, I know,” he replied. “And,” he added before I could say it, “if we are all such ‘good persons,’ why is our world such a mess?” He thought for a minute. “I know I’ve hurt people when I’ve been in bad moods, too. Am I any better than that priest was?”
Robert is thinking about all this. His parish’s Lenten Penance service is coming up soon. Who knows? He might show up.
I’d also love to hear your thoughts about Penance today. Why do you — or why don’t you — go? What advice would you give Robert? Please write to me at
Catholic Digest, P.O. Box 6015, New London, CT 06320 or e-mail me at
dconnors@catholicdigest.com.
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