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A parent’s prayer for a child who has left the Church
You can easily adapt this prayer to apply to a grandchild, friend, relative, etc.
Lord, I want (Name)
to know and love You as I do.
I worry, Lord, what paths
(Name) may take
without the wisdom of your
Church to guide the way.
Ever since (Name) was little, Lord,
I was there to hold (his/her) hand,
to help guide (his/her) choices.
I know this is a journey (Name) has
to make alone, Lord,
but it’s hard for me to let go.
Help me, Lord, to surrender my fears to You.
Help me to place (Name) totally in your hands.
Help me to remember that even when
(Name) pulls away from You
that You are never away from (Name).
Help me to respond with patience and wisdom
to (Name)’s journey, Lord.
Help me to be gentle and understanding.
Help me to fi nd the right ways to
encourage (Name), Lord,
and to speak to (Name) through my example.
Help (Name) never to forget that the doors
of the Church,
like a (mother/father)’s arms,
are always open to (him/her).
Amen.
- Julie Rattey |
When my son Jimmy decided to go to college in Oklahoma, the first thing we did was find him an apartment. The second thing we did was find a local Catholic church. I wanted to make sure he was going to Mass somewhere. We met the pastor, and Jimmy started going, but a few weeks later, he calledme to say he had a problem with the pastor and he didn’t like the music the choir director was using. He thought it was too New Age and not liturgical enough. I hoped he’d find another parish where he felt more comfortable, but he started going to a non-denominational church instead. Initially, it was a letdown. I started to ask myself:
What went wrong?My husband and I are Catholic, so it went without saying that we’d raise our children Catholic as well. We did our best to get them into parochial school. When we moved them to a public school, we continued our involvement with the church. Jimmy and his brother Roberto were altar servers and then they were involved in the youth ministry, cleaning, working. They made their Confirmation. Our daughter Julia wasn’t involved as much because she was younger, but we tried to make sure her foundations were strong. When Roberto was in college he was president of the Newman society. At one point he was thinking about becoming a deacon. Jimmy stayed involved with youth ministry until he went into the military. Julia made her Confirmation at our parish. Today, however, none of my children are practicing Catholics. Coming to terms with that has been a gradual process, and not always an easy one. Still, there have been sources of comfort — some of them surprising — along the way.
Jimmy was the first to slip away. Being so far away from him, I felt a little helpless: There was not a lot I could do. Ultimately, I was just grateful that he was searching for his spirituality and not just giving up and going to a bar.
A few years later, Jimmy, who’s 36 now, met the woman who would become his wife. After they became friends, he started playing his guitar at her Seventh-day Adventist church. He started going to church with her and working in youth ministry there. They observe her Sabbath, and he respects her religion and supports her 100 percent.
It wasn’t as much of a shock when Roberto told me he wasn’t going to Mass anymore. I guess I’d matured since Jimmy told me. Roberto is now 37 and is also in the military. I hope and pray each time he goes to a military base that he will find a good Catholic community, but that hasn’t been the case in his current situation. He and his wife Michelle found their comfort in a Protestant church, where they are Sunday school teachers and are involved with the community. However, he didn’t tell me about this until I went to visit him last year and it was time for us to go to church. His wife was really worried about telling me because they didn’t want to hurt my feelings. I went with them to their service, though, and the moment I walked in, I felt so welcome and comfortable. I had been sick at the time, and during the service the preacher said, “We’ve been praying for you, Mary.”
Wow, I thought. When was the last time a priest did something like that during Mass?The power of the Spirit was very strong there. Still, some of the elements of the Catholic Mass were missing; I missed the Eucharist. But the word was proclaimed and the community was strong. I felt a slight sense of mourning, but it didn’t last too long, because I hope to see my children in the Church again someday.
My boys left the Church once they were out on their own. My daughter Julia, however, left it while she was still living here at home. Right now she’s 24 years old and in a difficult situation as a single parent. She isn’t
* names have been changed for privacy
